Someone was named Miss California State 2003. Because the $15 ticket did not include a program memorializing all the entrants' names I'm not exactly sure who it was. But it was not the beautiful and talented Miss Yuba-Sutter Candee Louise Jensen, so what does it matter, anyway?

I might have tried to find out who the winner was, but -- what with the enforced displays of commercial patriotism; the repeated references to God and God's divine role in government administration; some contestants slyly mentioning to the saintly judges how they felt "blessed" and how they wanted to use the performing arts to save souls -- well, I kind of lost interest.

Besides, the poised and genuine Candee Jensen -- singer extraordinaire, dancer sublime, choreopgrapher non pareil -- placed first runner-up, which was disappointment enough to distract even the most devout of us.

The Miss California State is not to be confused with the Miss California beauty pageant. It involves young women and men who have been crowned "miss" or "ambassador" of their respective county fair, town fruit festival, or whatever. The titles of queen and king have fallen out of favor.

The contest also seems to be limited in scope to Northern California, with the contestants at this event held Thursday and Friday a t Yuba Community College coming from no farther away than Santa Clara and Red Bluff.

The whole thing had an eerily theocratic flavor reminiscent of the evangelists' blatantly fundamentalist non-sectarian-yet-oh-so-sectarian "Up, Up with People" road shows of yesteryear. In fact, if my ears did not deceive me, one of the judges was a former member of Up with People.

In any case, theocracy of the "dynamic Christian businessman" variety permeated the program, with strategically placed commercial mentions linking faith, patriotism and the wares of local merchants who had donated cash or kind to the event.

By the way, I recall Sister Mary Phillipa admonishing us fifth-graders: "Never let the left hand know what the right is doing. True charity is given anonymously without thought of reward." In other words, that $100 gift is not a donation if you expect a "free" advertisement for it.

But I digress.

The program announcer sounded like a prison guard. The emcee wrote and sang a song about God, Country and Duty that appeared to be sufficiently altered to prevent the Boy Scouts of American for suing for plagiarism.

Then there was the audience, with enthusiastic claques squealing and woofing with the same style, verve and volume of drunks at a Hooters sports bar.

Now, I'm not saying the contest was rigged,or anything, but when they brought the contestants back for the final results, awards and crownings two things struck me as suspicious.

While the event "accountant" was still toting up the judge's votes -- "May I have the envelope, please!" "Not yet, not yet! -- the contestants filed in and lined up on a tiered platform.

I would like to point out that:

 all the women contestants wore the same gowns they had in an earlier appearance, except one

 the one wearing a new gown was positioned in dead center stage.

 all the contestants, men and women, happened to be standing in the exact order of the "surprise" sub-awards they received -- Miss Communications, etc.

 the one crowned Miss California State just happened to be the one in the fresh gown sanding in center stage.

But why carp? Everyone was nice. God was frequently invoked, right down to a thinly disguised Christian prayer embedded in the closing remarks by the announcer.

Attorney General John Ashcroft would have heartily endorsed it -- so what's to complain about?

It was a Tuesday night and the Grease rehearsals had changed venues from the gracious living room of Pierrette Jensen to the top floor of the old Packard Library.

Some tacky idiot carpeted the once-wonderful hardwood dance floor, but then, it is true now as it has always been: in this world there are more geese than swan.

Director Staci Johnson was working with the actors in the first-day-of-school scene in which Sandy Dumbrowski is introduced to the Pink Ladies and then runs into Danny Zuko and the Burger Palace Boys.

Two songs were rehearsed, "We Go Together," and "Summer Nights," this time with the dancing moves laid out.

Candee Jensen, who's doing the choreography it seems was present, but the blocking out of the routine had been done the previous week. Everyone seemed to know roughly where they were supposed to be, and what they were supposed to be doing with their hands, feet and voices.

Austin Dixon, who plays Doody, was there catching up on what he'd missed, being out so long sick as he was.

The whole cast was rather thin on the ground since it was one of the last days of real school -- not Rydell High --and the ceremonies that such times entail for many of the school age actors.

They all seem to be getting comfortable, not only with their parts, but with their cast mates.

Meanwhile, Stage Door Canteen garnered an actual reader -- W. Curt LaFrance -- who contacted SDC to find out how to get in touch with Warren Casey, one of the writers of Grease.

"I think he's dead. Expired in 1988," I replied.

LaFrance came back: "Oops. What about Jim Jacobs?" the other writer of Grease.

Jacobs presented a different problem in tracking down. There's a gazillion references to Grease on the web, and I was interested to learn that Jacobs produced a documentary about Joe Louis, the boxer, and apparently, another about Muhammed Ali, the Greatest. But he had no web site and no obvious affiliations -- SAG. Authors Guild, etc.

But I did locate a 2001 news story out of the Hermosa Beach/Redondo Beach Easy Reader showing him alive and affiliated with a dance studio there. There was even a picture of him.

Quite by coincidence, another email came in from one Joan Sonnier correcting an error in Gypsy Journal, the weblog kept for the Ponderosa Theatre Company production last year of Gypsy

Erik Lee Preminger had been listed as the husband of Gypsy Rose Lee, when he was in fact her illegitimate son.

Rehearsals for Grease resume this week. Perhaps with the whole cast present, not that School is Out -- and if that isn't an expression and a title straight out of the real rock 'n' roll years.

From The Most Happy Fella to Les Miserables, American musical theater has expressed the full spectrum of emotions encountered in the grand human comedy.

Now, Friends of the Yuba City Parks and Recreation Foundation is collecting some of Broadway's best memories into a variety show, Way, Way, Way Off Broadway, for its first-ever fund-raiser.

True, Yuba-Sutter is a continent away from the Great White Way, but the acts Friends is mustering will come as close to the Broadway experience as any theater-goer could expect to get for $35.

A live musical revue, Way, Way, Way, Off Broadway, is set for Nov. 12 at the Yuba-Sutter Fairgrounds main exhibit hall. It will celebrate the most memorable songs from America's most beloved musicals.

Whether it is "I Could Have Danced All Night" from My Fair Lady, or “We Go Together” from Grease, the acts being put together are all song and dance show-stoppers.

Helmed by two Elly Award-winning directors -- Paul DeMeritt of Faith Christian School and Staci Johnson of The Acting Company -- Way, Way, Way Off Broadway promises to be a top quality production, event manager Skip King said.

“An exciting evening of Broadway selections with dynamic narrative throughout, is in store for the whole family," DeMeritt said.

The show will feature Yuba-Sutter’s most talented young and adult performers, supported by professional quality lighting, staging, costuming and special effects, DeMeritt said.

To that end, the show producers will be recruiting acts from: The Acting Company, Yuba-Sutter Children’s Musical Theater, Ponderosa Theatre Company, Marysville Charter Academy for the Arts, The Faith Christian School Players, Creative Light Theatre, and the drama clubs of Yuba City, Sutter, Wheatland and Marysville high schools.

Talent will also be drawn from St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church Drama, the Bethel AME Choir and others, DeMeritt said.
The Friends of Yuba City Parks and Recreation Foundation is a non-profit organization established to raise and distribute funds intended to enhance City of Yuba City park facilities and recreational programs.

The Way, Way, Way Off Broadway event will also benefit the Woodleaf Outdoor School program. All proceeds from a silent auction being held in conjunction with the variety show will go directly to Woodleaf.

“Every year hundreds of 6th graders from several surrounding counties attend a week long, in residence, school focused on environmental education,” Woodleaf Director John Hendrickson said.

Funding for Woodleaf was recently severely reduced by both Marysville and Yuba City school districts due to budget constraints," Hendrickson said.

The evening spent Way, Way, Way Off Broadway will also include a “Taste of Yuba-Sutter” -- a premier culinary event featuring the talents and products of local restaurateurs and food specialty providers.

So, for the low ticket price of only $35 you get an evening of Broadway show-stoppers, featured dishes from Yuba-Sutter’s best eateries and the thrill of supporting Yuba City's parks and recreational programs and Woodleaf Outdoor School.

For more information or to take advantage of sponsorship opportunities contact Skip King at 674-1280.